I’ve been seeing my current girlfriend for the past 3 months and I’ve fallen madly in love with her. She leads me to believe that she feels the same way. Physically, it is incredible and we get on great socially and in every way. We met at the gym, so we train together too.
In fact everything is magical apart from one thing that is giving me sleepless nights. Her ex, who she broke up with last year, is a City high flyer and earned loads of money. He had the big house, the cars, the expense account and the friends all over the world who they used to visit all the time…flying in business!
How can I keep up?!
Me, I work as an insurance broker, office bound, taking calls and making calls, all day, every day. I never thought I wanted much else to be honest, as I’d work all day, go to the gym from work, maybe the pub after. Ex girlfriends had equally as simple lives and we were always happy with Nandos at the weekend.
Now, I’m consumed with self doubt, low self esteem, self loathing and worst of all…jealousy!
I’ve seen this guys profile online and of course, he looks like an international pop star or footballer. I hate him! Though, the one thing that I will say is that I now feel driven to make life more interesting, both professionally and socially. I’m looking at evening school to maybe gain a qualification in another subject – business or languages, so maybe I could look to work overseas.
My girlfriend doesn’t know how obsessed I am with this as I keep it building inside of me. I know that’s not healthy, but I’ve almost broken up with her in order to ease my pain. I can’t sleep or even eat at times. I want to give her the life that he gave her, but I’m more of an Easyjet guy, at most!
So, as well as maybe throwing myself into studies, I need to take a hold of this anxiety as it is taking over my life and is ruining the relationship with the most beautiful girl that I’ve ever met – I’m dreading that time that we come to discuss holidays, as I can’t imagine that she’ll be overjoyed with joining me in a chalet in Camber Sands seeing as her last trip was to The Burj Al Arab!
Low self esteem is the feeling of anxiety and inferiority.
I think…I think that this is purely a self esteem issue and the jealousy and the anxiety are symptoms. I’m at the beginning of this journey and I don’t really know where to start. I can’t afford therapy or counselling, so I intend to trawl the internet for books on increasing self esteem and maybe videos on YouTube. But there are a lot of amateurs out there that have a non professional opinion. Though I guess that doesn’t matter if their theories and practices work.
I’m sure that friends and others around me have suffered with this, but:
1) I’m too embarrassed to speak to anyone as they may think I’m even more pathetic that I am and
2) as I think about it I get upset, so I can only imagine what speaking about it would do.
Or, maybe I’ll just break up with her, ride out the pain of separation and get back down to Greggs to see if the girl on the morning shift fancies a Nandos.
You know you are worthy, but somehow you don’t feel this way. For some reasons, you kept feeling inferior and not good enough no matter what you do. If you are constantly having critical and negative thoughts about yourself, you probably have low self esteem. Below is a mixture of self-help and cognitive psychology books on low self-esteem which will help you understand how your low self-esteem is developed.
Choose the one which is the best suited for your situation.