Personality Transformation: “Joy of being”

Stress is the new common denominator across the living world today.

We live in an age where living means meeting the daily deadlines and short term goals rather than sustaining a life of substance. Life which is a blessing has become a burden for many, whether you are a professional, a business person, a homemaker or even school going children today have no time to even stop a while and think about their lifestyle.

Why do we feel stressed?

The basic cause of stress is “desire”. As long as our desire is for the material gains and quick gratification we will feel stressed. Another reason is that we use our brain more than our heart. Finally, it is because our heart and mind are not in sync with each other that we are internally in a non-synchronous mode.

Does that mean we give up our desires? Wouldn’t that mean giving up living itself?

The best part of desire and action are the two parts of our being and existence. If there is no desire there will be no activity. A life without action is no life. Even thoughts are actions albeit of the mental kind. These are mental calisthenics. We need to develop the power of discretion to be able to see what kind of desires create an imbalance in our lives.

How to develop the power of discretion?

Discretion is developed through the integration of fundamental qualities. Fundamental qualities are the DNA of a personality. Whether inborn or imbibed,  these qualities make the character. In order to develop these qualities we need to first and foremost understand our selves thoroughly. The understanding is not about our gross personality but about the subtle form that constitutes our being.

What constitutes our subtle form?

The subtle form is the inner being governed by two key constituents, one being the Spirit and other is a residual form of Energy residing within us. When united these two act as our constant companion and guide us every time we seek their help. Some people are aware of this but most of us are not because of our pre-occupation with our routine life.

Could this be explained a bit more? There is something that doesn’t make sense because if we all are made equal, at least physiologically speaking. All of us should generally feel the same way in the manner that we all breathe, our heartbeats, our limbs move and our senses work and so on….. so then why the disconnect?

Yes, we all are born the same and our general constitution is also the same but there are other factors that influence our upbringing and personality development. These factors are social, economic, environmental and of course spiritual as well. Some of these factors influence the development and growth of ego and other factors in conditionings. The degree of influence that these exert on our being is directly related to the company we keep and the environment at home.

When we realize that we are all basically Spirits and that are all connected at higher levels, then our approach to life would be governed by ‘Love’ and ‘Forgiveness’. It is something like the way you behave towards your siblings and children. The traditional form of greeting in India is ‘Namaste’. The word has been derived from ‘Sanskrit’ meaning the Divine in me salutes the Divine in you’.


This is without any religious or caste bias and goes beyond the common understanding of inter personal relationships. The day we start living with an open heart and stop analysing everything we start living. There are people who would again start analysing this statement as well and question the very essence of this approach. Some of us who come from many generations of military backgrounds would also partly agree here. But that’s a topic for some later day and we shall surely revert to that too sometime in the future. The crux here is to develop a heart and mind where you accept the others in the manner that they interact with you. The other person will behave in the manner that she or he has been brought up, but since you are an awakened being your response of acceptance to such situations would help you change.

Let us start this as a seven week association. Each week we will do two exercises. So, to start with the first one, as an experiment today, do this small act. Irrespective of what happens, how others behave with you, your boss, your peers, your family, you just accept and forgive them. Say it within your heart, ‘I forgive everyone and I also forgive myself’. The reason you forgive yourself as well is just so that you do not start on this guilt driven path. This does not mean that you now go overboard and start apologising to everyone. That is not required. The very fact you are not reacting to what they are doing to you, there is a positive response from you thus nothing wrong that you have done here. We need to fight it with the powers of positive thinking and make our lives a place of happiness, prosperity and success.

In a very similar manner there are such small exercises that would help you grow on a daily basis and by the time you say abracadabra you will have transformed.

  • What is the difference between Joy and Happiness?
  • Why should we stop reacting?
  • How do we react and what happens when we react?
  • How to stop this and feel the joy?

In our next part we will learn about some more of these and also work on some exercises. Do write back on whatever your experience because unless we do it together we would not be able to progress.

Until then,

Your Partner in Quest,

Satish Shukla

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