In the never-ending pursuit of happiness, people have discovered, and maybe still discovering more ways to find it. The search has made us change the way we think, live, and interact with other people. Before we know it, we have developed these changes into a lifestyle of gaining happiness. But really, what are these things we do or we are in that makes us happy?

Faith

Faith is something we can consider as a belief in a higher power or of something unseen, something abstract, or something immeasurable. It is also often associated with a practice of a certain religion.

Many surveys have already shown that people with strong religious faith–of any religious or denomination–are happier than those who are irreligious. Through religion, people develop the mindset that the Higher Power they believe in is someone who can help them or rescue them from life’s pitfalls. It is where they go to ease their burdens and find forgiveness. It drives people to becoming better persons that eventually leads to spiritual satisfaction.

When a person gains spiritual satisfaction in practicing his religion, he becomes motivated in finding reasons to live life and be happy. Being spiritually satisfied also has an impact on a person’s health and well-being. According to studies, for the more inwardly focused, deep breathing during meditation and prayer can slow down the body and reduce stress, anxiety, and physical tension to allow better emotions and energy to come forward. Not only that, the happiness we get from practicing our faith also helps us to have a better sense of ourselves. According to David Myers, a social psychologist at Michigan’s Hope College, faith provides social support, a sense of purpose and a reason to focus beyond the self.

The happiness a person gets from being faithful is not necessarily measured by the religious practices he does and how often he does it. In 2004, studies showed that 36 percent if people who prayed everyday said they were very happy, versus 21 percent who never prayed.

Work

In a 2002 survey, more than 1000 Americans were asked, “If you were to get enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life, would you stop working?” and fewer than a third of the respondents said yes. Apparently, most Americans love their work. And for a person to love his job, he really must be happy with it.

Reasons why people are happy with their jobs may vary. For one thing, our jobs provide for us. The money we earn through it helps us pay our bills, settle our financial responsibilities, and buy the things that we want. Having a job that suffices our needs to the extent of giving us comfort is a sure source of happiness.

Another is that our jobs make us useful. Aside from the basics of the work itself, we learn a handful of attitudes such as independence, self-esteem, cooperation, and even leadership. Being happy with our work makes us realize our self-worth. It causes us to be more productive and efficient not just within the workplace but also our homes.

Companies should be conscious about the happiness and satisfaction of their employees. They should pay attention to the performance of each worker. They can do this by having regular evaluation within co-workers and bosses. Employers may give incentives to the employees who have been excellent. If they feel appreciated, they are more likely to engage themselves in their work. On the other hand, employees who have poor performances should be given a chance to improve.

In the long run, happy employees are able to handle workplace relationships, stress, and changers better than unhappy employees. They also feel more secured and they usually have lesser frustrations.

However, not everybody is happy with his job and for most people, a job is not something you can just leave the moment you feel like quitting. If you feel unhappy about your work, you can consider seeking the advice of your boss or of a trusted co-worker. Ask them what they think your strengths and weaknesses are. After this, you can start on developing your strengths and improving on your weaknesses.

Finding happiness in our job is important because how we perform at work has huge effect on our well-being and on how we deal with life. If we want to be happy at work, we should strive hard in getting a job that we really like to do. However, we have to remind ourselves that there’s no such thing as an easy job. We always have to work hard and improve ourselves whenever we can.

Marriage

The belief that marriage tends to hold people, especially women, back from their full potential to be happy has been around since the 1960s. However, a 2004 survey in America says that married people were six times more likely to say that they were very happy than those who are single, divorced, and separated. And generally speaking, married women say they’re happy more often than married men.

We know that marriage is not something people just get into. Since it is a lifetime commitment, people consider many things such as financial, mental, and emotional stability, before tying the knot. This helps the couple to have a secure and happy married life.

According to Claire Kamp Dush, a postdoctoral fellow at the Institute for Social Sciences at Cornell University, being married is connected with less distress, higher self-esteem, greater life satisfaction, and grater happiness. On the other hand, married men are more successful in work as well, getting promoted more often and receiving higher performance appraisals.

Studies also show that married people tend to live longer. Having a spouse can decrease your risk for dying from cancer as much as knocking ten years off your life. As for married women, they are 30 percent more likely to rate their health as excellent compared to single women.

What about kids? Children, on their own, don’t appear to raise the happiness level. In fact, they actually tend to slightly lower the happiness of a marriage. However, a 2003 study suggests that children are almost always part of an overall lifestyle of happiness. Taking care of children may take its toll on the parents’ patience and understanding, but the more they develop their parenting skills, the more they can improve their married life and gain further happiness.

These days divorce is getting popular because of couples separating from left and right. We see them in the movies, the television, and yes, even in our neighborhood. But let’s face it, nobody really wants to have his or her marriage be ruined especially if it can be avoided.

Generosity

Giving is one trait that bounces back, often immediately, once you throw it away. Aside from making other people happy, the feeling of being a blessing to them makes you happy, too.

We’ve all heard that money doesn’t buy happiness. The truth is, it does, only that it tends to be short-lived when we do it for ourselves. To make it last longer, we can try buying happiness for other people. One way to do this is by donating to a charity. Studies show that 43 percent of people who give money to charity say that they are very happy than non-givers. On the other hand, 42 percent of volunteers say that they are happy compared to non-volunteers.

According to Elizabeth Dunn, a psychologist from the University of British Columbia, regardless of how much income each person made, those who spent money on others reported greater happiness, while those who spent more on themselves did not.

In practicing charity, it doesn’t really matter where your money would go or how it would be spent. The only assurance that you need is that it will be of good use to the people you gave it to and the happiness giving has brought you.

Being generous however doesn’t always mean giving money away. Sometimes, it could mean giving a part of yourself. This can be done by donating blood, volunteering for a charitable organization, or simply offering to babysit you neighbor’s child. Acts like these are always appreciated and causing both giver and receiver happiness.

Sources: www.time.com, www.usatoday.com, www.gmj.gallup.com, www.myhappy.com, www.psychpage.com, www.msnbc.msn.com, www.reuter.com

For Robert Grady, the more the merrier. After all he have nine children with ages from 18 years to 7 weeks old. Together with his wife Debra, they originally planned to have 12 kids. She actually gave birth to 10 children but unfortunately, one died during infancy.Robert never actually grew in a big family. His fascination to have kids was inspired by his uncle in Indiana who have 12 kids. “It was a big Catholic family. I was so impressed with the family, I thought it would be nice to have one.” he said.

He like to do things with his whole family.. Even though he is a registered nurse in the intensive care unit of San Juan Regional Medical Center in Flora Vista, he was blessed to work for long hours which he can have four days off in a weeks. He spends his free time with his family wisely by going to the grocery together, sports events or late night movie watching at home.

The only thing Robert is concerned is the trend nowadays -that is happening to the whole world - that people often disregard having a big family with concerns with the economic and financial situations.

Even though food and oil prices are rising in dramatical heights everyday, Robert is optimistic and does not worry about the future. He believes that his faith in God will provide for his family abundantly.

When a woman bores a child, she will say that she’s happier. Yes, motherhood is probably the most significant stage in a woman’s life but contrary to this, psychologists who believe that this stage has actually a negative effect for the woman.Peter Ubel, M.D, a professor of medicine and psychology at the University of Michigan said that from moment to moment, a woman may feel exhausted, frustrated or sometimes angry because of the kids. Expert Daniel Gilbert agrees, he said that kids bring joy but sometimes they are not the ones who brings happiness. In a survey, moms derive less pleasure in eating, exercising or even relaxing on a sofa while watching T.V. as they focus their attention more in taking good care of their children. No matter how hard and tiring the mom’s works are, they will do everything just for their kids.

Appreciating and cherishing what you do is the first good step for a happier mother. Here’s how:

1. Admit when you’re stressed

Dr Ubel made motherhood an easy life when he explained that it’s okay to feel frustrated, angry, or irritable sometimes. You’re not a bad parent. It’s not even a bad parenting experience. It’s just normal.

2. Get enough sleep

The enthusiasm of mothers makes her love more appreciable. She can have the energy by proper rest. Once a mom is already recharged, new things come out for her and her children.

3. (Re) consider your priorities

Dr. Ubel added, “If you have any financial flexibility that lets you maximize your family time, use it now. For instance, do you really need to be the one to clean the house? How about paying someone to help out? And if that’s not an option, think about how clean your house really needs to be — do you need to make the beds, or is bed-making time better spent drawing pictures with your kids?”

This is another step to manage your time. Plan your activities each day so you can do more. Eliminate from your list which are less important.

4. Go with the flow

The so-called “flow” of psychologist is when you experience that time seems running to slow while you are doing anything you enjoy so much. People who experiences “flow” are said to be happier that those who experience this rarely. Cherish the moment you have with your kids. Make sure that nothing will come into your mind except the fact that you are presently happy with them.

5. Savor the moment

It is probably calmer to relax and taste every bit of happiness. Take time for yourself having a cup of coffee before doing things that will make you tired.

6. Take a long view

M.J. Ryan, author of The Happiness Makeover, remembers the times when her daughter wanted to sit on her lap and watch a video. Yes, she had other things to do. But she never knows how long it will last. That is why, she is so grateful for that time with her daughter.

If exhausting work attacks you, all you have to do is imagine all the memorable scenes with your children and your life if ever they are not there.

7. Reconnect with your spouse

Spouses are the vital person who serves as shoulders when going through and ups and downs of life. It is important to talk to spouse whenever you feel bad.

8. Say thanks

In all the time, though bad situations are trying to ruin your days, keep on looking for new good things. Be grateful whatever is new in life. This may help you to feel better than worrying disgusting incidence.

 

It is weird when one gets married without the intention of having and raising kids. For many, having children complete’s one’s life cycle. The ability to reproduce is a mystery and a miracle that even scientific evidences provide facts, the happiness it brings is an enigma.But a study from Harvard University is modifying the happiness factor in children and marriage. The study’s head Professor Daniel Gilbert says that even though having a married life is fundamental to happiness, having children destroys it and that happiness is only restored once the children leaves house.

The study reveals that married people’s drive to live is to provide to their children that carries their happiness in life. However, they also desire to get their investment of time and money from their children which drives them to think that their children brings happiness.

The process is like this: Marriage is at its peak of happiness when children is still not present, it flows on until the expectancy of children but it decreases sharply when children comes because of the troubles and hardship encountered. But when the children reaches the legal age to leave the house and go away, that is where happiness is restored.

Source: www.foxnews.com

There is a saying in the Catholic church that says “A family that prays together, stays together.” It blends well with a new study from the National Center for Addiction and Substance Abuse at the Columbia University which reports that spending quality time with the family on the table improves physical, mental and emotional health for children and teens.

Children who eat together with their families are reported having better grades at school. They are also less likely to abuse substances like alcohol and cigarettes.

According to an article from Time Magzine, published in 2006:

“…The less often a family eats together, the worse the experience is likely to be, the less healthy the food and the more meager the talk. Among those who eat together three or fewer times a week, 45% say the TV is on during meals (as opposed to 37% of all households), and nearly one-third say there isn’t much conversation. Such kids are also more than twice as likely as those who have frequent family meals to say there is a great deal of tension among family members, and they are much less likely to think their parents are proud of them.”

Sources: www.time.com, www.swdtimes.com

When was the last time you did an act of kindness to someone you didn’t know? It felt good, isn’t. Majority of us nowadays take this thing for granted. We have a busylifestyle or we are just simply shy or afraid of other people’s judging that we seldom do an act of simple kindness.

There is this story from modern-day Malaysia, told from the point of view of a father, that narrates how a very simple event can affect his son’s happiness, and his perspective in life also.

It is about his son, requested by the owner of the restaurant he frequently dines, to burn in a CD a compilation of songs in which he will pay for it. The son gladly accepted the offer and burned the CD.

Anyway, the story is best experienced in from the perspective of the father. You can read the story below.

All I can say, simple things makes us happy!

Kindness begets happiness

TH GAP: BY JMC

OUR children are what we make of them. An incident with my 17-year-old son made me realise how little things that we often take for granted can have a profound effect on the young minds of our children.

It also reminded me that life is a continuous process of learning in which everyone we come across, regardless of whether that person is small or big, young or old, man or woman, rich or poor, friend or foe plays an important role. We have much to learn from every one of them.

My son, a college student, frequents a small restaurant for his meals. One day the owner of the restaurant asked him whether he knew how to download and burn some songs onto a CD.

When my son admitted he knew, the gentleman requested him to burn some of his favourite songs for him. He said he would pay for it.

So my son went back and did the job. He then called me to find out how much he should charge the man for the CD.

I advised him not to charge anything as it was the first time the man had asked for such help.

The next day, my son handed over the CD to the restaurant owner. He refused to accept any payment despite some coaxing. The man thanked him and my son left.

A few days later my son went back to the restaurant to have a meal. He ordered the usual food. While he was having his meal a waiter sent him a large glass of fruit juice with the compliments of his boss.

My son was so surprised and he happily thanked him. When he went to pay for his meal, the boss refused to accept payment, saying that his lunch treat was in appreciation for the CD earlier.

My son was so happy that he immediately called me to tell me what had happened. I could sense the joy in his voice when he said, “I had free lunch; the restaurant owner didn’t take my money because I burnt the CD for free.”

I could not believe that a small deed like that could bring him so much happiness. Without realising it, I had taught my son a very important lesson in life, “Kindness brings happiness”.

If he had collected a few ringgit for the CD from the restaurant owner, he would not have got the treat, and my son would not have experienced the joy of his kind act.

Forgoing a ringgit brought him the happiness that we often cannot obtain with thousands of ringgit. This may be an insignificant incident, it may not guarantee that my son will grow up to be a good person, but it made me aware that as parents, we have a very important role in shaping the character of our children.

This can most effectively be done by our own examples, not preaching. It is in little things that we can guide them to be kind, considerate and helpful to those with whom they come into contact. It is in little things that we can instil the good values and morality that are so deficient in our society today.

In a world that is solely driven by materialism and consumerism, and where stiff and unhealthy competition in the norm, instilling good values in our children would go a long way to make the world a better place for all.

In a multi-racial country like ours, it would particularly contribute to ethnic tolerance and integration which is so badly needed.

From www.thestar.com.my

Experiences gained in childhood were carried over to maturity of one’s self. Therefore, it is important to develop a foundation of positivity and happiness is one of it.

Raising a happy kid is not as difficult as it seems. Every children has capacity to be happy their entire lives. All one needs is patience and an open mind and by following the five simple steps for a life full of blissful happiness.

Five Steps to Lifelong Joy

Connect with others.

More than any other single factor we can control, connection is the key to a happy childhood, and adulthood. Connection, in the form of unconditional love from an adult, helps foster self-confidence. Try to create an atmosphere at home in which your child feels cared for, welcomed, and treated fairly. According to a study conducted by the National Committee for Citizens in Education, Washington, DC. “When parents are involved in their children’s education at home, their children do better in school.” Without this feeling, kids shy away from new things and experiences.

Foster a can-do attitude.

This is one of the most reliable defenses against depression and despair at any age. Children watch and learn from how you deal with disappointment, be it in your career or at an athletic event or even just in being cut off in traffic. You can encourage competition, making sure that your child experiences both victory and defeat, and help her deal with each. You can use humor to deal with the pain, or bits of philosophy, or simply let your children see that you never give up.

Pretend and play.

Unstructured play hones children’s imagination, teaches critical problem-solving skills, and trains them to tolerate frustration. It also helps children learn that doing things again and again leads to improvement. In fact, play is the most important “work” your child can do. Practice, as part of structured activity, trains children how to receive help and get the most from other adults, such as good teachers and coaches.

Create opportunities for mastery.

With mastery comes confidence, leadership skills, initiative, and an enduring desire for hard work. It transforms a child (or an adult) from a reluctant, fearful learner into a motivated player. One of the great goals of parents, teachers, and coaches should be to find areas in which a child might experience mastery, then, make it possible for the child to feel this potent sensation. Once there, children want to go there again and again.

Provide recognition.

The feeling of being valued by others (friends, family, community) is key. You can exert a tremendous positive influence through the recognition you offer. We adults too quickly forget how much it meant to us when we were young - it meant the world to us, and to children today it still does. Recognition in turn reinforces the sense of connection that all children need.

Keep It Simple

It’s important to say something further about mastery and the hot topic of self-esteem. Some parents think the way to boost a child’s self-esteem is to lavish him with praise. Not so. Self-esteem is rooted in mastery. So, if you want your child to have high self-regard, do not go out of your way to offer praise. Go out of your way to make sure he has plenty of opportunities to experience mastery. And always remember to make sure your child feels connected to others and valued for who he actually is, rather than for just his accomplishments. Children who focus only on mastery, rather than mastery and connection, become “accomplishment junkies,” always striving for the next thing and never happy with what they have.

One more word: It may be tempting to skip playtime because it seems trivial. Don’t. Play is the time children engage fully with what they are doing. So, if your preschooler is interested in taking apart an action figure over and over, let him. If your school-age child likes bicycle racing, let him work with his friends to figure out how to make his bike go faster and pursue his passion. The skills he will build as he “plays” with adjusting his spokes, installing new brakes, or searching the Internet for racing tips,are far greater than just learning about bikes.

Source: www.gather.com

Imagine a scene in a playground with a child walking with helium balloons tied in his wrist, the other hand pulling the string of a toy car while at the same time holding the lollipop he is happily licking. He is having a great time with all those things but what if suddenly, all of it was gone? Can he still enjoy his time in the playground? I guess not.

This is what’s happening to America right now: Children who do not know the meaning of being sad as all they knew was happiness.

Being sad is a natural part of growing up, sadly, many parents are protecting their children from it. According to Aaron Cooper, PhD who wrote a book on the dangers when parents make happiness the most important thing to their children,

“Without plenty of practice coping with ordinary sadness, upset, disappointment, and hurt, kids don’t develop resilience… And without resilience, they’re vulnerable to all kinds of problems.”

This may be the reason why the use of antidepressants among the youth are on the rise because they do not know hope to cope up with sadness.

Sadly, most parents don’t realize this and end up “being ragged or going into debt just to make their children happy.” Even without the smile on the children’s faces they can still “function adequately” “but many parents are looking for that smile.”

(Read Prweb, image courtesy of limbte)

Do you have parents who laugh at simple jokes and tend to smile a lot? Have you ever asked yourself ‘why am I like them?’ Don’t fret; a new study from Brisbane, Australia establishes a connection between happiness and our genes. Yes, the element in our body that made us like our parents.

According to the research from the University of Edinburgh and the Queensland Institute of Medical Research, genes in our body play a role in our personality and happiness. When they studied 937 pairs of twins, they found out “identical twins have a very similar personality and well-being…”

Although it is amazing how our genes carry other details aside from the blueprint of our physical appearance, researchers found out that genes are not all the reason as half of our happiness is related to external factors such as work, health and relationships.

Now I’m wondering about Ben Stiller’s children…

(Read ABC)