Have you ever found yourself behind the wheel, trying to express gratitude to another driver, but you didn’t know how? Say you’re in your car, windows up, driving down the road, speed untold, and someone lets you change lanes, or gives you the go-ahead at a stop sign. You want to scream “Thank you!” at the top of your lungs, but you realize that probably won’t do the trick. Thankfully, William Safire of The New York Times has compiled some alternatives. Here are ten signs full of gratitude.
June 7, 2009
Greater Good Blog: Ten Ways to Say “Thanks” While Driving
March 22, 2009
Psychology Today: Four Paths to a Happier You - Strengths, Gratitude…
Know your strengths, count your blessings.
December 19, 2008
Better to Give Than Receive
Is it truly better to give than receive? The verdict’s still out, but one thing is certain: it is great to give! At least, many positive psychology researchers are finding kindness and general pro-social behaviors to increase well-being. Kindness interventions show that happiness can be increased by doing random acts of kindness for others.
In one ten-week experiment, participants were invited to regularly practice random acts of kindness (Boehm, Lyubomirsky, & Sheldon, 2008). Engaging in kind acts (e.g., 12 holding the door open for a stranger or doing a roommate’s dishes) was thought to impact happiness for a variety of reasons, including bolstered self-regard, positive social interactions, and charitable feelings towards others and the community at large. In this study, happiness was measured at baseline, mid-intervention, immediately post-intervention, and one month later. Additionally, two variables were manipulated: 1) the frequency with which participants practiced acts of kindness (either three or nine times each week) and 2) the variety with which participants practiced acts of kindness (either varying their kind acts or repeating the same acts weekly). Finally, a control group merely listed events from the past week.
Interestingly, the frequency with which kind acts were performed did not affect well-being. The variety of the kind acts, however, influenced the extent to which participants became happier. Those who were asked to perform a wide variety of kind acts revealed an upward trajectory for happiness, even through the 1-month follow-up. By contrast, the control group showed no changes in their happiness throughout the 14 weeks of the study, and those not given the opportunity to vary their kind acts actually became less happy midway through the intervention, before eventually rebounding to their baseline happiness level at the follow-up assessment.
In another kindness intervention, students were asked to perform five acts of kindness per week over the course of six weeks, and those five acts had to be done either within a single day (e.g., all on Sunday) or across the week (Lyubomirsky, Sheldon, et al., 2005). In this study, happiness levels increased for students performing acts of kindness, but only for those who performed all of their kind acts in a single day. It was theorized by the authors that when kind acts were spread throughout the week, the effect of each kind act was dispersed, such that participants did not differentiate between their normal behavior and the kindnesses prompted by this intervention. Taken together, these two kindness interventions suggest that not only can happiness be boosted by behavioral intentional activities, but that both the timing and variety of performing such intentional activities significantly moderates their impact on well-being.
Not only is doing kind acts important for well-being, but counting the kindnesses one already offers (in the way one may count blessings) also increases happiness. Otake et al. (2006), found that happy people (determined by a median-split) are more motivated to do kind acts and recognize them, have more happy memories in number and quality, become happier through kindness and are more grateful. Additionally, they perform more acts of kindness during the intervention. One could think of this as positive reinforcement. Some theorized reasons unhappy people did not benefit in this way include depression influencing memories and motivation and/or the possibility of these people not actually performing kind acts in the first place. One recommendation for this group may be to engage in a Lyubomirskian intervention, as mentioned in the prior paragraphs!
Not only does doing varied acts of kindness increase happiness, but spending money on others promotes happiness as well. This may be surprising given how much we covet our assets and can even find happiness in being financially stable. While money can buy happiness (Diener & Biswas-Diener, 2002), when a person thinks too much about their wealth (think of a miser as the extreme [or Scrooge during this holiday season]), they are less likely to help acquaintances, to donate to charity or to choose to spend time with others (Vohs, Mead & Goode, 2006). Still, spending more of one’s income on others predicts greater happiness both cross-sectionally (in a nationally representative study) and longitudinally (in a field study of windfall spending). In an experimental setting, those who were randomly assigned to spend money on others experienced greater happiness than those assigned to spend money on themselves (Dunn, Aknin & Norton, 2008).

In a nutshell, do good things for others and do it with variety. I would recommend buying lots for others, but during this recession, I’m going to stick with the variety recommendation for now. And because it’s hard to think up these things on one’s own, here’s an abbreviated list written by Joanathan Haidt:
==> · Be a listening ear to a friend. Ask your friend how her day was and actually listen and respond to her before describing your own day.
==> · Flu season is upon us. Help a friend or neighbor who is ill by delivering chicken soup, doing the laundry, or walking the dog.
==> · Give someone else the gift of time-Do something for someone else that requires time and effort on your part.
==> · The next time someone admires something of yours and you can afford to do without it, give it away.
==> · Volunteer in your community.
==> · One day each week, “commit” five random acts of kindness. And, when possible, make them anonymous.
Boehm, J. K., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). Does happiness lead to career success? Journal of Career Assessment, 16, 101-116.
Dunn, E.W., Aknin, L.B., & Norton, M.I. Spending Money on Others Promotes Happiness. Science, 319, 1687-1688.
Lyubomirsky, S., King, L., & Diener, E. (2005). The benefits of frequent positive affect: Does happiness lead to success? Psychological Bulletin, 131, 803-855.
Otake, K., Shimai, S., & Tanaka-Matsumi, J. (2006). Happy people become happier through kindness: A counting kindness intervention. Journal of Happiness Studies, 7, 361–375.
November 26, 2008
Positive Psychology Daily: Happy Thanksgiving 2008
Gratitude thoughts:
Image. This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News Daily. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.
Thanksgiving as Gratitude Day.
Huddling together during Thanksgiving.
Gratitude for what you do have.
Gratitude for the bad things that are avoided.
Benefits of love, gratitude, and kindness may become even stronger in the limbic system during difficult times.
“If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.” If you’re proud of someone and you know it, praise their effort.
Gratitude and its energy and spiritual energy.
Gratitude helps you live longer - one of the four ingredients of the aging Happy-Well.
A 7-year-old talks about the power of “Three Good Things” every night.
May 2, 2008
Practicing gratitude everyday
Gratitude is the feeling of thankfulness and appreciation. When was the last time you felt this way?
Do you know that having this attitude makes a person happier?
According to the the book of Sonja Lyubomirsky titled The How of Happiness, consistently grateful people
“…tend to be more helpful and empathetic, more spiritual and religious, more forgiving, and less materialistic…[and] less likely to be depressed, anxious, lonely, envious, or neurotic.”
Gratitude is also shown to boost happiness. There were eight reasons for this:
1. promotes the savoring of positive life experiences;
2. bolsters self-worth and self-esteem;
3. helps people cope with stress and trauma;
4. encourages moral behavior;
5. can help build social bonds, strengthen existing relationships and nurture new ones;
6. tends to inhibit comparisons with others;
7. incompatible with negative emotions and may diminish or deter feeling such as anger, bitterness or greed
8. helps prevent hedonistic adaptation.
Isn’t it nice to feel happier just by saying thanks? It’s free and makes us feel good.



