No one want to be unhappy, well of course, some people want but just for a short time. Sadness is vital to happiness as it creates contrast.The World Health Organization predicted that in a few years, depression will be a great problem worldwide and can extend to the increase of mortality rate. The culprit here is depression; intense sadness.

Common sense dictates that the enemy is someone opposite of him: goodness is the enemy of evil and vice versa. Meanwhile, Sadness’ enemy is of course Happiness!

So we have a solution to the imposing global problem of widespread unhappiness. Unfortunately, happiness is not a pill that can be taken orally with the effect felt immediately. It is also not a book that can be read and understood. Happiness is an emotion and emotion has no definite meaning. We can say we are happy, very happy, a little happy but unlike the English lexicon where everything has a word, happiness is felt and is very hard to define.

This leaves us to this question: Can Happiness be Learned?

Journalist Henry Anatole Grunwald once said that

“Everything can be learned, including, to a very large extent, to be what you are not…”

He has a point there. Through years of rote memorization, analytical thinking, and curiosity, who would have thought that we are formerly cave dwellers who survive by eating anything that moves and breathe? Amazing how we discovered fire, built buildings, learned how to fish and now, trying to be immortals. We learned to be what we are today and it is very far from where we began.

Buddhists believe that everything is controlled by the mind. The mind has the power to change ourselves immediately and that when we train our minds properly, we can be happier. For them, happiness and sorrow are our own responsibility. From the own words of Buddha:

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world.”

In addition, they believe that negative emotions bother us and causes all our suffering and unhappiness. This includes anger and desire. What they do is to meditate and they are freed from the harmful emotions.

The psychologists agree. They discovered that by meditating - a practice of buddhist monks in attaining a state where they are not distracted by things around them, emotions or thoughts - is beneficial to the body as it reduces stress, depression, insomnia and even physical pains.

All one needs to learn happiness is by learning to control our emotions; avoiding negative thoughts which causes the problem, hence the culprit. Fears, anger, and depression can be controlled just by learning saying no to them.

Unfortunately, learning happiness is not an easy road. As with all learnings, one needs to understand themselves to locate the problem. This may take quite a while. Research shows that it takes 21 days to hardwire our brains to the new attitude and up to 63 days to eventually solidify it.

But it is not necessarily hard for us to be happy. Dalai Lama says that in order to be a happy person, one must be good to others. There’s is no need to practice buddhism to do this, all we need to do it to make a habit of kindness to others, spreading love, respect and a sense of gratitude.

So, can happiness be learned? Yes. After all, Harvard University’s most attended course is about Happiness.

Let me leave you with words from Robert Louis Stevenson, a neo-romanticist writer:

“…Ultimately, genuine happiness can only be realized once we commit to making it a personal priority in our lives. This may be new behavior for some of us and a bit intimidating. Be gentle with yourself. It will all unfold. Today you may not be familiar with the happiness habit. But like any new behavior, happiness can be learned.”

Have fun being happy!

Happiness can lead to success, rather than just the other way around. Happy individuals are predisposed to seek out new opportunities and set new goals. After reviewing data of 225 studies gathered from more than 275,000 individuals, a team of psychologists concluded that while previous research assumed that happiness stemmed from success and accomplishment, happiness is often a result of positive emotions. Success is the result of many factors, including physical health, intelligence, family and expertise.

Source: www.time.com

Be it a slew of good jokes, a slapstick comedy or laughing yoga, find something to give you a good hearty laugh that brings tears to the eyes or a giggle fit that makes the sides of your body ache.

People are 30 times more likely to laugh in groups than alone and, not surprisingly, laughter is associated with helping to develop person-to-person connections through a feedback loop characterized by laughter, social bonding and more laughter.

Laughter, like so many other endorphin-triggers, helps to reduce certain stress hormones and, while it might be contagious, it strengthens your immune system rather than weakening it.

Source: www.time.com, photo courtesy of dieupham206

Roman Stoic philosopher and playwright named Lucius Annaeus Seneca once said that one can attain happiness by acting in accordance with one’s true nature and being contented in life.

It may be easy to understand but hard to follow. For years now, researchers have looked for answers in the optimum way in attaining happiness. Psychology Today asked four top happiness researchers to discuss the attributes of happiness and how one can achieve it.
John Reich, Ph.D., Arizona State University:

I believe that happiness is being aware not only of the positive events that occur in your life but also that you yourself are the cause of these events–that you can create them, that you control their occurrence, and that you play a major role in the good things that
happen to you.

As far as the best ways to get there, I would say that attempting to cause as many positive events as you feel capable of–and being successful at most of them–is the quickest and most effective way to achieve happiness.

Ed Diener, Ph.D., University of Illinois:

It has also been hypothesized that a person’s level of happiness is determined by comparisons he or she makes with standards. These standards may be based on social comparisons, on the particular person’s aspiration level, on the person’s past, or on his or her ideals. If people exceed these standards, they will be satisfied; but if they fall short of these standards, they will experience unhappiness.

David G. Meyers, Ph.D., Author:

Act happy. Talk and act as if you have the traits and attitudes of a happy person, and you may gain them. Going through the motions can trigger the emotions. Seek work and leisure that engage your skills. Happy people are often absorbed in tasks they find challenging but not overwhelming.

Exercise. An avalanche of recent studies reveals that aerobic exercise is a powerful antidote for depression and anxiety.

Give priority to close relationships. The mutual support and self-disclosure in committed relationships are another antidote to misery. If you are married, resolve to nurture your relationship, to not take your partner for granted, to display to your spouse the sort of kindness that you display to others, to play and share together.

Take care of the soul. Actively religious people tend to report more happiness and to cope better with crises. Faith provides a support community, a sense of life’s meaning, a reason to focus beyond self, and a timeless perspective on life’s temporary ups and downs.

Alex C. Michalos, Ph.D., University of Guelph, Ontario:

I define happiness as a relatively long-lasting, positive feeling and attitude. From my research, the best way to get there is to have a portfolio of desires and interests–some short-range goals and some long-range goals. The short ones so that you can get small pleasures on a fairly routine basis with relatively low cost, and the longer ones so that you have something to look forward to and to go after in life.

Short-run pleasures, for instance, might include music. In my case, I like Motown music, and I have some records and tapes around that I like to listen to. For longer-term pleasure, I’m a feminist, so I work in little ways for the achievement of equal opportunity for women.

It’s very important to keep this portfolio going, not to let these interests die out in light of other aspects of your life, such as work They must also be realistic–an interest in music is one thing; dreaming of becoming a rock star will not likely land you to happiness unless you’re one in a million. When people get a good assessment of what is possible and want those things that are ultimately achievable–and then begin to close the gap between the two–they find ultimate happiness.

Source: Psychology Today