Continuing what I learned from the happiness panel at the LA Times Festival of Books, the conversation next turned to spirituality and religion. Does religion make a difference in happiness? Dr. Lyubomirsky said that she feel uncomfortable writing on religion because religion and science rarely mix; however, with that said, yes, religious people who go to church regularly and pray are indeed happier. Research indicates that the biggest factor that makes religious people happier is the community and social connections from attending a church or temple or mosque, rather than the beliefs. Finding meaning in life may be a small factor, but a person does not need religion in order to have community. Mr. Wiener inserted that the happiest nations were not overly religious; however, he agreed that having belief in something is important even if it is as insignificant as the need to wear socks with sandals. He felt that all happy people that he met in his travels believed in something. Being a nihilist will not create happiness. The self-help business is a ten billion dollar industry. A lot of people at the conferences that Ms. Lisick attended were looking for belonging, for community. In today’s world, people move around at much greater frequency, changing jobs and leaving family and friends.

The moderator questioned if countries that are democratic are a contributing factor to happiness. Dr. Lyubomirsky cautioned not to make great divides over country lines. Mr. Wiener felt that trusting countries might be more likely to have a democratic government, not the other way around. For example, Switzerland has human rights, chocolate, money, and a direct democracy. It seems that the democratic part is just the icing on the cake. Moreover, Dr. Lyubomirsky commented that some countries like the former Soviet Union might be troubled with instability, creating less trust and greater unhappiness.

Why do rich people travel to poor countries? Mr. Wiener was an NPR correspondent to India for some years and he noted that people from rich countries generally romanticize poorer nations and poverty. We believe that they have nothing and are happy. However, they are not necessarily happy – they would like to have things as well. Some money to a point ($15,000/year/person) would be helpful in boosting happiness.

The moderator then asked a question concerning richer nations such as America – Can botox make someone happier? Dr. Lyubomirsky responded that usually we quickly become accustomed to positive (and negative) changes in our lives, this phenomenon is called hedonistic adaptation, which she had mentioned earlier. When she first bought a Prius last year, she was quite excited, but now, she is used to it. She also had Lasik eye surgery, and within two weeks she said that she was taking it for granted. If we want a bigger house and we get one, we will get used to it and it will become the norm. Therefore, adaptation is the greatest obstacle to happiness.

However, botox might be an exception to this rule. When people had their frown lines erased, many people reported that they no longer felt depressed, and this new happiness did not fade. Research suggests that people respond to those they perceive to be sad in one way, and those who appear happy in another way. Therefore, people who have botox appear happier to the outside world and people respond more positively; it is the social reaction that creates the happiness.

Each of the panelists made final remarks before the short question and answer session. Mr. Wiener began by saying that intelligence can get in the way of happiness. In general those with some education – with a bachelor’s degree are happier than those without. However, those with post-graduate degrees such as a doctorate are often unhappier than the person with only the BA. Post-graduates regularly over-think everything, are overly pensive, and are often untrusting or suspicious of happy people. There is an idea that people who are intelligent cannot be happy because they realize all of the terrible things that exist in the world. Those without as much education are considered blissfully ignorant. Ms. Lisick, agrees with him, and commented that being cynical sounds smarter whereas happy people are considered naïve. There is a similar divide between Republicans and Democrats; Republicans are usually happier.

Dr. Lyubomirsky wanted to say that there is an assumption in society that happy people smile all the time; however, this is not necessarily so. Happiness is at the top of the list of things we desire to have and for what we must strive. Moreover, happiness can take on many different faces; oftentimes in Asian cultures, happiness is serenity or calmness. She recommends not to be super cheerful always but to be happy to the degree that you want to be. Moreover, there is a misconception that happiness is individualistic – a “me-only” attitude. However, research shows that happy people usually share their happiness with others by doing for others.

In response to questions from the audience, Mr. Wiener commented that in Denmark, people have lower expectations, and modest expectations are key to happiness. We, in America, are a restless, anxious nation, even if we are very productive. People can have important goals but modest expectations and they may not be as tied to the final outcome. Most of the world is happy. On a one to ten scale, most people will rate their lives above a five.

Dr. Lyubomirsky revealed that happier people live longer; they have stronger immune systems; and they are often healthier. Mr. Wiener continued that beyond envy, over thinking happiness and the erosion of social relations could create unhappiness. There were final questions and comments on the relations between public policy and happiness as well as children and happiness. Governments do explore how public policy can create greater happiness in a nation, but it is often geared around wealth. Children often model their lives around their parents; however, there has not been too much research done in this area yet.

As a final word, the lecture was quite interesting and certainly well worth attending. I suppose the most notable aspect that I took from it was that happiness depends largely on our social fabric and how close we are to family and friends. Unhappiness seems largely related to adaptation or taking things for granted and being envious of others. I will continue to cherish and be grateful for the people in my life and nourish my relationships with them.